Howard Rizio on the Appalachian Trail

Awakened Ave

I want to be
a light,
not a megaphone.

Real stories. Raw thoughts. A life lived differently, shared openly, not as instruction, but as example.

Read the Story
Howard at Katahdin summit holding Steven's memorial card Howard near Katahdin, Maine Howard sitting on the cliff edge

About

Howard Rizio.
Trail name: Wingit.

Most people spend their lives becoming someone.

I did too. For a long time I was very good at it.

Then it all fell apart, and in the falling apart, I found something I'd been chasing my entire life without knowing it.

I'm not a teacher. I don't have a method. What I have is a life that looks completely different than it once did, and a habit of sharing it openly, the parts that worked and the ones that didn't.

Awakened Ave is where that happens. Videos, writing, and whatever comes next.

If something here feels familiar, you're in the right place.

Nothing Left to Hold Onto, A Memoir by Howard Rizio

Coming Soon

Nothing Left
to Hold Onto

One Man's Collapse into Nobody, A Memoir

A man spends his entire life becoming someone, only to discover that every identity he built was another prison.

This is an honest account of what remains when there is nothing left to hold onto.

Sign up below to receive early updates and be the first to get Chapter 1 when it's complete.

From the Community

What People Are Saying

"I'm on my own do or die path over here, literally, and alone in it. You have no idea how quickly I pull your videos up as soon as I see them. I don't know why yet, but they help."

@Nyalloyd  ·  YouTube

"It brought tears to my eyes. As a daughter of an addict and also in current addiction, it puts things in perspective. Even if it hurts to hear, I'm glad I can still feel something."

@ericadarby3622  ·  YouTube

"I'm back again listening to this for what seems the 109th time. You've found the words that I never could."

@lukeminey2059  ·  YouTube

"You have a way of sharing messages that reach people you wouldn't even think need it."

@Trizioo  ·  YouTube

"Real stuff. Good stuff. Your honesty and vulnerability is awesome. Keep talkin' to us. Semper Fi."

@davidblair7361  ·  YouTube

"There are real people that can pour their hearts out and we can watch the healing. You are one of those."

@sheilahenry7279  ·  YouTube

YouTube

Watch

Not produced. Not scripted. Honest moments from the trail and from life.

Awakened Ave · @AwakenedAve

Awakened Ave · @AwakenedAve

Awakened Ave · @AwakenedAve

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Writing

From the Trail & From Life

Poetry

Labyrinth of Longing

Life is theatre, a cyclical play, a meaningless march, an endless parade. Vain procession of things to attain, there has to be more to this hopeless charade...

Poetry

What is the Appalachian Trail

It isn't a mountain. It isn't a place. It's not a person wide. It occupies no space...

Poetry

Be the Tree

I don't know what to do. I don't know who to be. I don't know how to stand tall. I don't know how to be the tree...

Contact

Reach Out

Whether you're on the trail, in recovery, or just trying to figure out what's next, feel free to reach out.

Email: howard@awakenedave.com

▶ YouTube — @AwakenedAve ⬡ Awakened Ave — Facebook

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What's the problem?
What's the excuse?
Maybe I'm afraid
I won't live up to you,
and you have too much to lose.
So I just sit back
and let the universe decide my fate.
Am I really a man
waiting for her
to ask me on a date?
I can be fake
and pretend this isn't true,
but if nothing changes,
then I experience nothing new.
I need to make a change
and take a chance.
Otherwise, I'm listening to the music
and only watching you dance.
Insecurity is real.
No need to complain.
I'm just a human
who needed to explain.
Don't lose faith.
I'll step to the plate.
It's never, never too late
to learn how to date.
I'm not afraid of loss,
for everything ends.
I'm just learning to love
without constantly making amends.
I have lots of love to give,
just no courage
to let it all live.
I stand proud and tall
as if I have it all,
but the truth is,
I am the one
who's afraid to fall.
So if you see me,
and you hear me too,
then don't lose sight.
One day, maybe,
we will hold each other tight.
Yes, I'm afraid.
I own it.
I don't pretend.
It's why I'm alone.
Why I do it on my own.
I hope someday
I can say I love you
without seeking fame
or feeling shame.
I only hope that you
maybe feel the same.
Until that day,
I'll keep trying
to let my fear subside,
to be a new man,
mostly on the inside.
Don't lose faith.
I may just step to the plate.
It's never, never too late
to learn how to date.

— Howard Rizio

August 2021